Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I long for the day when I can have a real adult residence.  I'd love a cute house with a two-car garage, a yard, and a fence.  But alas, I am poor.  My net worth is in the negative.  I keep spending money I don't have to pay for things I don't really need.  I feel a little bit like Congress.

After living in my apartment for about a year and a half, I thought I'd finally gotten used to my surroundings.  Then I got a new neighbor.  I like to call this new neighbor Jimmy Buffett.

Jimmy Buffett likes to sit outside his apartment on top of an old igloo cooler.  It looks like this one, but red.

While sitting on said cooler, Jimmy Buffett likes to "play" an acoustic guitar.  I do not know much about guitars, but Ross informs me that the guitar he plays is a brand so crappy it's laughable.  The guitar looks something like this:
The following is a list of songs Jimmy Buffett likes to sing:
  • Margaritaville
  • The Joker (Some people call me the space cowboy, some people call me the gangsta of love...)
  • Sitting on the Dock of the Bay
  • Superman by Three Doors Down
  • Outside by Staind
I'll stop there, because the list continues to get even lamer, if you can believe it.

Jimmy Buffett will apparently sit outside on his cooler and sing/play lame songs at any time of the day or night, but his most preferred time is Thursday evenings, which he refers to as "Thirsty Thursdays!"  On Thirsty Thursdays, it's not uncommon to see Jimmy Buffett putting on an uninvited acoustic show while drinking whiskey, beer, or a combination of both.

In short, I'm living next to the world's most annoying frat reject.  Oh, did I mention he's at least 26?  And still in college?  After dropping out to go be a white water rafting guide for several years?  After five long years in college trying to get that oh-so-impossible degree in communication, he just needed a break.  

I want a house!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

halloween candy

Hello to my two friends who are reading this blog!  Not much is going on in my life that's very exciting.  Law school is, I have decided, my own personal hell.  But I wanted to post anyway, so here's a semi-funny story about Halloween.

I forgot all about Halloween until yesterday morning.  I was walking to school, and I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, until all of a sudden...wait a minute...there went a stroller carrying a small child dressed up like a fairy (complete with wings!).  Oddly, though, it still didn't click.  My first thought was not, "Oh yeah, it's Halloween."  Nope; my first thought was, "That mom is psycho."  I finally realized it was Halloween after I got to school and saw one of our law school tech guys dressed up at Lieutenant Dangle.  In case you're unfamiliar, Lieutenant Dangle looks like this:

And even then, it took a few minutes.  At first I thought, "What's that cop doing here?"  But finally, I realized:  It's Halloween!  Yes!  I GET TO GO BUY CANDY!

I've lived in my apartment for about a year and a half, and it's not in a neighborhood where kids normally go trapsing around during the daytime, much less after sundown.  So, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be getting any trick-or-treaters this year.  But still, the thought of being candyless if a trick-or-treater did show up was too much for me to bear.  So, I went to the grocery store after class yestesrday and bought:
  • One bag of Heath miniatures
  • One bag of Snickers miniatures
  • One bag of assorted miniatures, containing Milky Way, Twix, etc.
  • One glow-in-the-dark ghost basket to contain all this candy.
I was checked out by a Harps employee who was festively wearing a vampire costume, which was creepy enough.  It got even weirder when he started talking to me using some kind of "Transylvanian" accent.  "Hoow eez the weather?  Eet's steel too bright for meee...muahaha!"

Of course, I had not one trick-or-treater.  But on the plus side, this morning I got to eat candy for breakfast!